25 Fun Things to Do in a Cardroom

We are so doing this in Vegas next month...

1. Exclaim "One Time!" for every card that's dealt to you, and again on every card on the board.
2. Call for the clock as soon as every single player's betting action begins.
3. Speak your inner monologue aloud while making your betting decisions. Be rude and offensive to people about their playing styles as if they can't hear you.
4. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! OY OY OY!!! Every. Single. Hand.
5. Show your cards with excited glee to the imaginary person next to you. Ask for advice.
6. Multi-table in a live casino.
7. When debating making an all-in call, count out your chips individually. Have trouble with the math. When the dealer tries to help, shoo their hand away, annoyed, and start over. (Guaranteed to pick up a tell.)
8. Wear huge headphones to the table. When someone attempts talking to you, talk in a very loud voice. When they ask you to remove your headphones, do so, and then continue to shout.
9. Wear a tuxedo and name tag to the casino. Ask everyone how their evening has been. Try and earn as many tips as possible before the staff catches on.
10. Stack up as many cushions as you can until you don't actually need a chair.
11. Bring a rack of $3 chips to a 4/8 game. (More plausible in an LA cardroom.)
12. Become extremely angry when told that the bad beat jackpot is not a straight beating two pair.
13. ...even if you use both hole cards.
14. Rebuy after every hand you lose, even if it was just a folded blind. Sigh heavily every time you reach for your wallet.
15. Announce every push as being an "Official 'Degree' All-in Moment".
16. Offer a burnt sacrifice to the poker gods before sitting at a table by setting a dollar bill on fire.
17. Loudly and publicly make an over/under bet with a friend on how many times you can ask for a new setup before everyone leaves the table.
18. Claim loudly that you own the copyright on the term "suckout". Demand royalties any time someone uses it, even at adjacent tables.
19. When you sit down for the first time and the dealer asks if you wish to post, study the table like deciding on how to play a tricky hand. Extra points for staring someone down.
20. Demand that you are able to speak to the elves in the auto-shuffling machine, so you can make sure they're not trying to cheat you.
21. When signing up on multiple waiting lists, use different initials for each list.
22. If having a bad run, ask the dealer if you can use the Orange or Turquoise deck from now on.
23. When a kill pot is announced, slap a pocketknife down on the table. Stare at the player with the kill button obsessively.
24. Put $2.47 behind.
25. If anyone uses the term "suicide kings", exclaim loudly "My *father* committed suicide." Allow the awkward silence to come over the table. Then begin to whistle showtunes and go back to the game.
26. Sit down at a 1/2 table wearing expensive jewlery and shades. Badmouth everyone's play. Tell everyone how many WPT events you've played. Challenge people to play heads up for 1,000 dollars. (Oh wait... people already do this every day, and it's not funny. Stricken from the record.)

Congrats to a great friend, husband, father, and a decent poker player

So I just want to give a shout out to my friend the one and only No Black Aces (NBA). Since real names can't be divulged for classified reasons, I won't mention his name but suffice to say NBA has accomplished a great feat. He has graduated college. I have a lot to say on this topic but I won't get sappy for all the readers out there. I'll just say congrats, I knew you could do it, and about F'ing time..j/k (only if you all knew).

See you and my fellow bloggers in about 12 short hours and then let the festivities begin.

JUST A SIMPLE QUESTION...RIGHT?

Who knows when the last time a football post was put on this blog but I have one question that has me all confused lately.

WHAT WERE THE TEXANS THINKING???????

Bill Fillmaff does it again

So NBA's alter ego has made a new video. I don't know how he had time inbetween full-time school, Full-time work, and Full-time dad duties but he made chapter 8 pt1. of his continuing saga know as Bill Fillmaff. I encourage you all to check it out. His buddy, the great Extempore himself PaulP makes a cameo. Very funny stuff.
http://www.billfillmaff.com/

A straight flush that actually didn't go to waste!

***** Hand History for Game 4065005403 *****
NL Texas Hold'em $22 Buy-in Trny:22525602 Level:3 Blinds(50/100) - Sunday, April 23, 02:51:49 ET 2006
Table English Setter (Real Money)
Seat 9 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 6: t_money000 ( $2680 )
Seat 7: vimalpatel ( $1875 )
Seat 9: azimm4 ( $2697 )
Seat 1: NoBlackAces ( $595 )
Seat 5: nauticamc2 ( $3400 )
Seat 2: ajslenox ( $2265 )
Seat 8: eaglesrp2004 ( $1460 )
Seat 3: EagleAAA ( $2365 )
Seat 10: mex1124 ( $1293 )
Seat 4: PEARSE1 ( $1370 )
Trny:22525602 Level:3
Blinds(50/100)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to NoBlackAces [ Jd Kd ]
ajslenox folds.
EagleAAA folds.
PEARSE1 calls [100].
nauticamc2 raises [400].
t_money000 folds.
vimalpatel folds.
eaglesrp2004 folds.
azimm4 folds.
mex1124 folds.
NoBlackAces is all-In [495]
PEARSE1 calls [495].
nauticamc2 calls [195].
** Dealing Flop ** [ Td, Ts, 9d ]
PEARSE1 checks.
nauticamc2 checks.
** Dealing Turn ** [ 5h ]
PEARSE1 is all-In [775]
nauticamc2 calls [775].
** Dealing River ** [ Qd ]
PEARSE1 shows [ Qc, Tc ] a full house, tens full of queens.
nauticamc2 shows [ Kh, Ad ] a pair of tens.
NoBlackAces shows [ Jd, Kd ] a straight flush, king high.
PEARSE1 wins 1550 chips from side pot #1 with a full house, tens full of queens.
NoBlackAces wins 1835 chips from the main pot with a straight flush, king high.

Road to the WSOP

Update:
I busted out 2202 out of 3582. I got crippled very early on when my AJ lost to AA. I raised pre flop to 120, got reraised to 250. Flop comes Jack high, I bet he raises me. So I figure he may have Q's or K's. I call, turn an Ace. I check, he bets the pot and I move all in and he calls instantly. Tough beat. I had 350 left. I built back up to 2200 but then got short stack and I went all in on a flush draw and never hit.

So yesterday I played in a freeroll on PP for the chance to get into a satellite to get into the WSOP. 3500 players, top fifty make it and I finished 22. I was coasting till my Aces (They were both red NBA)were cracked by 76 when my opponent hit a 3rd 7 on the turn. I was now down to about 20k I doubled up to almost 40k when this hand happened. I was on the button with 10d9d (gotta love those suited connectors).
#Game No : 4043566782
***** Hand History for Game 4043566782 *****
NL Texas Hold'em Trny:22417753 Level:11 Blinds-Antes(1000/2000-75) - Friday, April 21, 00:40:56 ET 2006
Table WSOP Freeroll Qualifier(670675) Table #2 (Real Money)
Seat 8 is the button
Total number of players : 9
Seat 1: mmatt119 ( $43595 )
Seat 2: nukemz ( $57257 )
Seat 3: XtReMeRoLLeR ( $19003 )
Seat 4: theda60al6b ( $43393 )
Seat 5: REZA_M ( $46598 )
Seat 6: StoneAgeMoJo ( $103723 )
Seat 7: jcroft ( $70231 )
Seat 8: Stewman20 ( $39566 )
Seat 10: Flop_Jock22 ( $5424 )
Trny:22417753 Level:11
Blinds-Antes(1000/2000-75)
mmatt119 posts ante [75].
nukemz posts ante [75].
XtReMeRoLLeR posts ante [75].
theda60al6b posts ante [75].
REZA_M posts ante [75].
StoneAgeMoJo posts ante [75].
jcroft posts ante [75].
Stewman20 posts ante [75].
Flop_Jock22 posts ante [75].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Stewman20 [ 9d Td ]
nukemz folds.
XtReMeRoLLeR folds.
theda60al6b folds.
REZA_M folds.
StoneAgeMoJo folds.
jcroft folds.
Ladinero has joined the table.
Player Ladinero has been moved from table 15 to this table
Stewman20 raises [6000].
Flop_Jock22 folds.
lay daown JJ
mmatt119 calls [4000].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7d, 6d, 8s ]
mmatt119 bets [7638].
Stewman20 raises [15276].
mmatt119 calls [7638].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8d ]
mmatt119 is all-In [22244]
Stewman20 is all-In [18215]
** Dealing River ** [ 3c ]
mmatt119 shows [ Ts, Ah ] a pair of eights.
Stewman20 shows [ 9d, Td ] a straight flush, ten high.
mmatt119 wins 4029 chips from side pot #1 with a pair of eights.
Stewman20 wins 80657 chips from the main pot with a straight flush, ten high.
Game #4043574238 starts.

My 5th straight flush of my life and a great time for it. So tomorrow I play in the satellite with probably another 3500 people. Top spot gets a seat into the 50k H.O.R.S.E. even at the WSOP. 2-10 get seats into the ME and 11-20 get seats into a lower NLH event if I understand everything correctly. I could be wrong about this.

I like my chances but I'll probably have to leave early if I make it far for a prior commitment. The last 2 big field tourney's I have played I have finished 24(1200+ field w/$1 entry fee) and 22 with no entry fee so the caliber of play isn't the best but still not bad.

Play Perfect Poker And This Can Happen To You

Well, I played perfect poker (as I have for the last 3 weeks) and it finally paid off... It's small, but the money doesn't mean as much as the trophy.

Luck sure helped a bunch... I saw pocket Aces 4 times in 1 tourney, won all 4 times, doubling up twice with em. I also was dealt KK and QQ quite a few times, every one of em holding up. I won with AK vs QQ against a huge stack and bullied my way to victory on the final table.

In other news, I was simultaniously playing the $44 multi and proceeded to lose with AK to AJ (crippled me down to 1/3rd the avg stack) but built my way back with some well timed steals and great bluffs. The final hand saw me holding KK and losing to AQ. Oh! And guess what...? In both hands, the money went in the middle with me as the favorite.

My analysis of my play: Perfect again. I didn't make one mistake in either tourney. I took some risks and some paid off, and some didn't, but I never made a bad call, and never pushed with the worst hand.

I'm building that bankroll for June, Stewman. At this pace, I should have $300 by then!

Rule #1... Ye who defends thy blind with trash shall be rewarded by ALWAYS flopping trips

***** Hand History for Game 4017366772 *****
NL Texas Hold'em $55 Buy-in Trny:22303613 Level:3 Blinds(50/100) - Tuesday, April 18, 13:15:13 ET 2006
Table Mini Step 3 Random Digits (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Total number of players : 9
Seat 7: Rup3rT__ ( $1630 )
Seat 1: NoBlackAces ( $1706 )
Seat 3: yarbg ( $1315 )
Seat 10: CaliSugarDad ( $1500 )
Seat 6: JJT007 ( $1825 )
Seat 8: TahoesDad ( $1420 )
Seat 9: OSCARPP ( $3414 )
Seat 2: CrapSandwich ( $4100 )
Seat 5: Jordifa ( $3090 )
Trny:22303613 Level:3
Blinds(50/100)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to NoBlackAces [ Kd Ad ]
JJT007 folds.
Rup3rT__ folds.
TahoesDad folds.
OSCARPP folds.
CaliSugarDad folds.
>You have options at Table 95256 Table!.
NoBlackAces raises [300].
CrapSandwich folds.
yarbg folds.
>You have options at Table 95256 Table!.
Jordifa calls [200].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7s, 7h, Js ]
Jordifa checks.
NoBlackAces bets [300].
Jordifa calls [300].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 4h ]
Jordifa checks.
NoBlackAces checks.
** Dealing River ** [ Ah ]
Jordifa is all-In [2490]
NoBlackAces is all-In [1106]
>You have options at Table 95256 Table!.
Jordifa shows [ Tc, 7c ] three of a kind, sevens.
NoBlackAces shows [ Kd, Ad ] two pairs, aces and sevens.
Jordifa wins 1384 chips from side pot #1 with three of a kind, sevens.
Jordifa wins 3462 chips from the main pot with three of a kind, sevens.

Drawing dead on the flop and still going runner-runner QUADS

sick...

***** Hand History for Game 4017260872 *****
NL Texas Hold'em $55 Buy-in Trny:22303613 Level:1 Blinds(20/40) - Tuesday, April 18, 12:58:18 ET 2006
Table Mini Step 3 Random Digits (Real Money)
Seat 9 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 7: Rup3rT__ ( $1745 )
Seat 1: NoBlackAces ( $2000 )
Seat 3: yarbg ( $1765 )
Seat 10: CaliSugarDad ( $2120 )
Seat 6: JJT007 ( $1865 )
Seat 8: TahoesDad ( $1780 )
Seat 4: scorpion557 ( $1810 )
Seat 9: OSCARPP ( $1920 )
Seat 2: CrapSandwich ( $1980 )
Seat 5: Jordifa ( $3015 )
Trny:22303613 Level:1
Blinds(20/40)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to NoBlackAces [ 6d 8c ]
CrapSandwich raises [100].
yarbg folds.
scorpion557 calls [100].
Jordifa folds.
JJT007 folds.
Rup3rT__ folds.
TahoesDad folds.
OSCARPP folds.
CaliSugarDad folds.
NoBlackAces folds.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 3h, Kc, Ks ]
>You have options at Table 95256 Table!.
CrapSandwich checks.
scorpion557 bets [40].
CrapSandwich calls [40].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 5s ]
CrapSandwich checks.
scorpion557 bets [80].
CrapSandwich raises [160].
scorpion557 raises [160].
CrapSandwich raises [160].
scorpion557 is all-In [1430]
>You have options at Table 95256 Table!.
CrapSandwich calls [1350].
** Dealing River ** [ 5h ]
CrapSandwich shows [ Kd, Kh ] four of a kind, kings.
scorpion557 shows [ 5c, 5d ] four of a kind, fives.
CrapSandwich wins 3680 chips from the main pot with four of a kind, kings.

This Is Why You Never Slowplay Aces

***** Hand History for Game 4014773807 *****
NL Texas Hold'em $22 Buy-in Trny:22293443 Level:5 Blinds(200/400) - Tuesday, April 18, 03:44:17 ET 2006
Table Mini Step 2 Chicken Of Sea (Real Money)
Seat 5 is the button
Total number of players : 4
Seat 1: NoBlackAces ( $5122 )
Seat 3: olelarsen111 ( $10493 )
Seat 5: Big_Elvis ( $2620 )
Seat 7: steven61494 ( $1765 )
Trny:22293443 Level:5
Blinds(200/400)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to NoBlackAces [ 2d 7c ]
olelarsen111 calls [400].
Big_Elvis calls [400].
steven61494 folds.
NoBlackAces checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 7s, Kd, 2s ]
NoBlackAces checks.
olelarsen111 bets [400].
Big_Elvis is all-In [2220]
NoBlackAces calls [2220].
olelarsen111 folds.
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 7h ]
NoBlackAces shows [ 2d, 7c ] a full house, Sevens full of twos.
Big_Elvis shows [ Ah, Ad ] two pairs, aces and sevens.
NoBlackAces wins 6240 chips from the main pot with a full house, Sevens full of twos.
Big_Elvis finished in fourth and wins Entry to Mini Step 2